Mittens to knit and watch the kids by, free pattern

Judge not lest ye be judged and believe me, you’d do exactly the same thing that I did.  My never-naps-nor-goes-to-bed-at-a-reasonable-hour son fell asleep in the car today (I love his preschool, they poop him out with activity and education) so I decelerated the car evenly around all the corners and coasted into the driveway.  I left the car and radio running and snuck out, being extra careful not to slam the door.  I went to get my knitting, winter’s coming so each kid needs a few extra mittens, sat on the wet lawn chair and knit while I watched him sleep.

Incidentally, the pattern is this, it increases every 7 years.  It’s a 2-needle pattern for those of us who are anti-fucking-four-needles-in-the-round.  For age 0-7, use 3.5 mm needles; 7-14 use 4 mm; 15-21 use 4.5 mm

  1. Cast on 30 sts.  K1 P1 rib for 2 inches [2.5, 3]
  2. Work 3 sts in rib, M1, *work 5 in rib, M1* rep * to last 2 sts, work last 2 sts in rib. (36 sts)
  3. K 17, place stitch marker, K2, place stitch marker, K 17
  4. P 1 row
  5. K 17, slip marker (marks thumb), M1, K2, M1, slip marker, K17
  6. P 1 row
  7. Rep last 2 rows until 12 [14, 16] sts between markers.
  8. K 17, slip next 12 [14, 16] sts onto stitch holder, K 17.  (34 sts)
  9. St st until measures almost 3 inches [3.5, 4-possibly more for a teenage male] from thumb stitch holder
  10. One row before you hit the 3 inch mark, decrease 1 st on each end of row (32 sts)
  11. K 2, K2 tog; rep til end of row
  12. P 1 row
  13. K1, K2 tog; rep til end of row
  14. P 1 row
  15. K 2 tog to end of row
  16. B & T tightly and sew mitten together.


  1. Put sts back on needle and st st until 1 inch [1.5, 2] long.  End P row.
  2. K 2 tog to end of row
  3. B & T tightly
  4. Sew thumb together

Incidentally there are other horrible clues that you are a parent, this example relates to wardrobe.  Yes, I’ve left the house to go to the post office in the “don’t worry darling, I’ll never go out in public in these cuttoff orange and blue pisces pattern shorts” but that’s not the worst of it.  I’ve also gone to see the neighbour first thing in the morning (she’s a Mommy, she understands) in my pink plaid pyjama pants, taking-out-the-trash flip flops, Hubby’s giant dark blue skateboarding dragon hoodie and my coffee in my daughter’s Disney princess mug.  I had not done my hair or makeup, probably hadn’t even washed my face, may have worn a hat.  Shower?  Bah ha ha ha ha!  You can count yourself blessed if I shower and wear deodorant in the same 48 hour period.


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